| Does anyone else think its sad when that the majority of a class of 50 students at Bible college didn't know that the diet of worms had absolutely nothing to do with worms? I'm again solidified in my belief for better Christian education. That and slightly embarrassed to report such findings. |
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| What is going inside my heart? What is going through my mind? I shouldn't be thinking. Yet, I am. I should be studying. Focusing my efforts on becoming the best pastor that I can be become. I should reading every book they through at me taking notes, and challenging my professors when I don't understand. Totally out of character to how I handled my studies in high school. Yet, now I feel that when I put effort toward that goal, which I know cannot be accomplished alone, If fail on the social level of college I will fail on the academic level as well.
So then what it comes down to is what has always come down to. A balancing act. Driven did a good job teaching me what to do when faced with such a challenge. You order your priorities and then do what it takes to get it done. In this case, I'm at college studying is going to come first. I'm a believer in Christians being educated, and a good place to start is with myself. I've never been one to fallow the status quo, not for the sake for rebellion, but for the sake of following the higher being that is guiding my life.
So... It goes as it always has gone. I take the path less traveled. Do work on my studies. Take the label nerd, and the pokes, burns, and insults that come with that. But walking the path God has called me to walk, at least as so far as my current vision can see. |
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| Its been over a month since we last hung out.
I told myself not to dwell on you.
I told myself not to think about you.
I told myself the bridge has been burned, that its best just to move on.
Then I saw you today.
Before I realized it was you my stomach was wrenched.
Before I realized it was you my heart beat changed.
Before I realized it was you somewhere deep inside must have known it was you.
So now I'm wondering why these emotions for you won't fade.
I try to appeal to logic and reason.
I try to conclude why they must cease.
I try and tell them the improbability of it all.
I try to rationalize every thought for walking away.
Yet, when I saw you today none of that matter, emotion you just kept pounding away. |
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| True life is found in Christ. But why? Because man fell. Why did man fall? Because at one point man was in right standing with God. Death is found in life only because death came after life was established, and through this one death God was able to restore man to life.
Death isn't the means to life. Life is the means to life.
Darkness doesn't show the goodness of the good. Good shows the goodness of the good.
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| I had a conversation a few days ago with the head pastor from my church in bloomington. He got me thinking, these are those thoughts that still linker in my mind.
Many people in ministry know how to do the "how." Or they know how to do ministry. In college they will teach you how to the "how." But the thing that will keep you from burning out with be knowing the "why." The why is why you do the how. Why do you do the things that you do in ministry. What are you working towards? Why is it you are in ministry? Do you know the why? It's ok if you don't but make sure you find it, and keep asking questions until you find it, because knowing the why will keep in ministry. The how will change. But if you know the why it won't matter.
Today at a prayer/worship meeting at church this thought crossed my mind: We were singing a song that talked about the wonderful work of Jesus on the cross. I started to ask God to tell me what that meant. What did His son's death mean to my life. I asked God to make it real. I still want it to be real. I mean so often we know about Jesus' death a resurrection but do we truly know what that means? I desire to know it beyond the story. I desire to know it in such a way that it shreds all my weirdness away when I tell others about Jesus.
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